Episode 65: Save Whitey

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Show Notes for Episode 65:  “Save Whitey”

This week host Dave Bledsoe talks about White People and why they can’t have nice things, not even that Jack Daniels Elvis Decanter they bought at the Swap Shop over on Route 5!  We start with the White Folks across the Pond who decided they would rather burn down their entire economy than have any more Brown folks move next door, and jump right over to America where our own White Folks are starting shitter fires at the Tractor Pull.  (We’re WAY past dumpster fires here folks) . We give a shout out to our Sister Show on the Fast Eddies’ Podcast Hut Network, “Ere, what up in yer gob yah bleedin’ sod” hosted by Reggie Smythwick Jones–what up Reg!  We go over little things like the Civil War, Gavin’s tragic choice to try online dating, and how you are forced to break Godwin’s Law when you discuss working at an Amazon distro warehouse.  We ALSO provide some fairly simple solutions to the biggest problems afflicting White People in America and they do NOT require internment camps, given up their guns, or being converted to homosexuality.  They DO require voting for Hillary Clinton, so I expect they will think this is equally awful.

We open the show with Trumpiest Trump Supporter Who Ever Trumped, this week and close out with Bocephus telling us all it will all right if you don’t go anywhere near where you might actually find a job.

 

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Episode 64: Love the Way You Lie

TOPSHOT - Republican presidential candidate businessman Donald Trump gestures during the Republican Presidential Debate, hosted by CNN, at The Venetian Las Vegas on December 15, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. AFP PHOTO/ ROBYN BECK / AFP / ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

This week Host Dave Bledsoe is done with your bullshit and is here with a big ass shovel and bucket, ready to start scooping. We take a look at the lies the bind, the things we keep telling ourselves as though we really believe them.  

We want to tell you this is a fun, happy little show with lots of jokes and lighthearted ribbing, but that would be a lie.  It’s angry, bleak and disheartening–kind of like you when you found out the truth about Santa Claus.  Like Elvis Costello’s mirror he’s going to tell you things he loves you too much to say any other time.  Unlike Elvis Presley’s mirror, it will not make you think sequined jumpsuits are a good idea.

Along the way we discover the horror of naked bathroom selfies, why 80’s pop music is the purest form of wistful nostalgia, the scientific principle behind the Gun Event Horizon and explain the logical fallacy of the customer ever being right.  This is not a show to listen to if you enjoy blissful ignorance.

Promotional consideration is brought to you by Earl’s Elite Excrement Expeditors, Earl’s We Get Shit Done!  We open the show with the actual words of actual Trump supporters from Buzzfeed’s “No One Knows Anything” Podcast, truer words have never been spoken, we close with really–Eminem and Rihanna can we DO that?

Fact-checking Trump’s demagogic rhetoric after Orlando terror attack

Gun Violence Archive

Odds of Being Killed By Terrorist

“No One Knows Anything” Buzzfeed’s Politics Podcast

You are NOT Special

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Episode 63: We’re Going to Make It After All

Show Notes for Episode 63: “You’re Gonna Make It After All”
CaptureThis week Host Dave Bledsoe opens up the Big Book of Clinton and find reads to your from Chapter 7 verses 11-15:  “And lo, they did come from Arkansas to the White House and the Republican wert pissed…”  We FINALLY get around to doing the long promised show about Hillary Clinton, listing EVERYTHING that is wrong with her as a candidate and why people just flat don’t like her.  So, this week’s could go on HOURS!


Along the way we examine questions about evolvings tastes in Country and Western music, why the financial industry is good for America, the secret chemical in the chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly and the relative merits of keeping your maiden name. For some reason we go on quite a while about handjobs, which will make sense in time.  We hope.  We will definitely find out why Gavin still uses a Motorola StarTac flip phone.  

 

Our show is sponsored this week by Wall Street, who want you to know they OWN you.  We open with Kate McKinnon’s perfect Hillary and close with my favorite TV theme song ever, I am THRILLED to finally use it!

 

Clinton Scandals, Ranked

Real Clear Politics Current Polling (Now with Moar Johnson)

 

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Special Edition #4: “For What It’s Worth”

 


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Show Notes Special Edition #4:  For What’s It’s Worth

In this Special Edition Host Dave Bledsoe gives up his Sunday drinking for studio drinking. Though honestly how can you tell?  He takes on the violence inherent in the system and points out how Trump Protesters are shooting themselves in foot and if they keep this up someone else will be doing the shooting, and feet will not be their target.   Along the way we deal with Dave’s laundry listening, Gavin’s personal grooming habits and why didn’t any of you pay attention in history class. We insult pretty much EVERY segment of the American population and explain why we need to the vapid, listless, torpid American vote to win.    Also, modern protest songs really SUCK.
We open with angry people being angry and close with Buffalo Springfield.  THAT is a protest song!

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Episode 62: Gorilla Warfare

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This week Host Dave Bledsoe scales the Empire State Building holding a nubile blonde and swatting away attacking bi-planes as he discusses the animals on the Internet.  Trust us, they are the less intelligent species.  In the show we dig deep into the killing of a gorilla in Cincinnati and how the Internet reacted.  Along the way we look in on the Armenian Genocide, why we can’t take Gavin anywhere and what it means to be a true hero.  (Hint, it involves a golf ball and a LOT of kegel exercises.)  Additionally we learn the proper poetic form for issuing a death threat, the Sestina, and discover our host’s childhood fascination with doody.  

 

Promotional consideration for this week’s show is by Abe’s Ape on a Stick, all the flavor of Real Ape™in a cruelty free soy bar!  Abe’s so good, you will never know it isn’t Ape!  We open the show with the wise words of Dr. Zaius–oh oh Dr, Zaius–and close with the musical stylings of  The Dickies!

Remember all Death Threats should be addressed to Producer Gavin!

Change,org petition from half a million idiots.

 

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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