November 2016 – What the Hell Were You Thinking

Episode 87: Thanksgiving In Hell

SHOW NOTES: Episode #87 “Thanksgiving In Hell

This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes us on an emotional journey through the bowels of the American tradition of trying not to kill your relatives during Thanksgiving Dinner. (He’s not big on original ideas apparently). With helpful tips for avoiding a fight honed over years of conflict resolution this show is a must listen while heading home for the holiday. We also learn there is word for trying to kill your Uncle with a carving knife during a family argument!

Along the way we talk about the best way to get your weed through airport security. (Hint: It’s

not in your butt, they look there) and how to avoid spending the long weekend in a local

lockup with a lonely redneck. We also examine the emotional trauma of off brand kid’s clothing, and how to spot the asshole in any group of people. (Hint: check the mirror). We also provide contingency plans for when your good intentions go straight to Hell and you are forced to take on the forces of stupidity. (It involves an 80’s movie, surprised?)

Promotional consideration for this week’s show is by Distractors, a handy app for avoiding familial conflict, so long as you don’t expect a miracle. We open the show with Aunt Gladys and close with Elton John. Happy Thanksgiving and god help us all!

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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EPISODE 86: AMERIKA ÜBER ALLES

EPISODE 86: AMERIKA ÜBER ALLES

This week Host Dave Bledsoe sits down with everyone’s favorite frog and talks about how it’s not easy being green–no, not THAT one, the other one, the Nazi Frog. Man, Kermit must be pissed right now. Our show talks about He Who Shall Not Be Named choice for Senior White House Strategy Advisor and Propaganda Minister Steve Bannon. This will not be pleasant for anyone, frankly we are still trying to shower the stink off us in the research department.

Along the way we discover that Joe Biden personally whacked Andrew Breitbart (He didn’t) how much Orange America loves minorities (they don’t) and Dave’s knack for making analogies with truly disturbing sex acts in truck stop bathrooms. (don’t ask.). We take a look at the spike in incidents of making America great in school cafeterias and public transportation and wonder when we are going to stop winning so much! (In about four years) We also propose a final solution for the Alt Right. We try to reach out the the White Working Class and find common ground only to find we don’t have any. It should be a fun show.

Promotional consideration by the Campaign to Repeal Godwin’s Law, because sometimes they really ARE Nazis! We open the show with some inspiring speech by a happy Trump supporter and close with They Might Be Giants. Because you have too.

Citations Needed: Totally NOT Racists, 437 and Counting, Tracking the New Normal, They seem nice, Tell us, in your own words., The Kids Aren’t Alt Right.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Episode 85: “What Did You DO Ray?”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 85: “What Did You DO Ray?”

Well shit. Shit. Shit. Shit, Shit. SHIT! We were supposed to be on a BEACH RIGHT NOW god damnit! We don’t want to be here, you sure as hell didn’t want us here, but now we gotta do THIS SHIT. Thanks a LOT America! This week Host Dave Bledsoe wipes the tears from his eyes, takes a long pull from the bottle and talks about what the fuck just happened to America.

Along with the rest of the media, we start apportioning blame for the catastrophic goat fuck that was election 2016 and we ALL know who’s to blame. (HINT: It’s Dave). We talk in detail about all the things that happened to bring us to the Presidency that we refuse to name and only refer to by a Third Person Pronoun from now until IT is impeached in 18 months, tops. We talk about docile Democrats, the Bernie Bros (Yeah, we’re sorry dudes, our bad!) the GOP and fucking useless cable television circle jerk. We stick a knife into the Facebook Bubble and of course the back of both candidates and the parties that gave them to us. We close with the real villains of the piece. (Hint: It’s probably you)

Along the way we talk frat house masturabatory practices, the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, and what the fuck Alexander the Great has to do with this election. (The actual guy not the homoerotic movies of the same name.) We also wonder if the people marching the streets showed up to vote. (Highly Unlikely). It’s a show that starts off sad, but ends angry. Just like America.

Promotional consideration by Sad-Away, it doesn’t cure depression but you will too stoned to care. We open the show with Choice of the Traveller’s Form and close with Rage Against the Machine.

Citations Needed: Black people? Never heard of ‘em, Those damn emails, Pew, Pew Pew, Facebook: We don’t make the news, we make it shittier It Fucking Won?

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Episode 84: The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #84: “The Waiting Is the Hardest Part”

In this our big pre-election show Host Dave Bledsoe loses his damn mind trying to hold it together for the 100 hours. Things do NOT go well.

As election 2016 draws to a close we look as the sad, divided country and wonder how the hell we are going to sit across the Thanksgiving table in a few weeks and not try to kill each other with our wishbones. (HInt: Stab for the eyes). We talk about the FBI leaking like the Titanic post iceberg, the sheer hell of poll watching and wonder if we are going to sleep at all between now and Tuesday night. (Based on current trends: No.) We talk about Crazy Eddie the Car Wash Dude’s prediction for next week (William Howard Taft in an Electoral College squeaker), how J. Edgar Hoover liked to be peed on and finally a plea for sanity and civility from the guy who’s been calling Trump supporters Trumpvangelicals for months. (Too little, too late).

We also remind you that the show will be a creative hiatus for the next few weeks as the host and writing staff detox from the binge drinking this election has forced upon them. Unless of course Trump wins, in which case we will be broadcasting until they come to place us in the camps.

Promotional consideration for this week’s show is by –INSERT CANDIDATE HERE–2020 a New Voice for America, A New Way for President. We open the show with wise words from All the President’s Men and close with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Pray for the giant meteor!

Citations Needed: Mulder and Scully would NOT approve, Sounds Totally Legit.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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