This week Host Dave Bledsoe asks the listeners to please stand clear of the closing doors, there is a podcast directly behind this one. On the show this week we take a look at the broke ass, no good, very bad, pee smelling New York City Subway System. (Don’t worry we make it relevant to you Middle America!) If you’ve never experienced a crowded mass transit man vigorously masturbating to you, you will now!
Along the way we learn the history of why the United States doesn’t give a damn about Mass Transit (Hint: You might be in the reason right now). We determine once and for all who is in charge of making the trains run on time in New York City. (He is Italian, but no Mussolini) Also within, everything you thought you knew about the Interstate is probably wrong. (Originally, no cars allowed!) Finally, we give you the car owning American every reason to question your decision to own and car and a little taste of an average trip on the Subway. (Trigger Warning for anyone who drives or rides the subway.)
Our Sponsor this week in New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, who wants you to know this shit ain’t on him! We open the show with Elaine Benes as Every New Yorker and close with Youtuber Timothy Dennis’ cover of “Steel Rail Blues”. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4CU1p3o9S4)
This week Host Dave Bledsoe has his manager reach out to contacts in Germany hoping to set up a meeting about some compromising material he has on Angela Merkel, only discover he has no manager. On the show this week, we discuss how a music promoter, a shitty Russian Pop Star and a lawyer named we think Natasha Fatale somehow managed to fuck Hillary Clinton out of the White House. This story is so stupid it has to be true.
Along the way we talk about how dumb you have to be to admit to a federal crime on Twitter. (Donald Jr Dumb) We relive the Dumpster Age of Television in USA Network Prime Time Crime Dramas of the mid-90’s. (Don’t even lie, you WATCHED them!) We once for all do away with the notion that Don Jr is the Fredo of the Trump Family. (We know it was you Tiffany, you broke our hearts!) And in the Wayback we head to 1805 and the King of Mexico, who was neither a Mexican, nor a King. Most importantly, we define what the fuck treason IS and implore people to stop using it incorrectly. (Hint: No one has committed Treason since 1945!)
Our Sponsor this week is Vlad’s Talent Booking, Ve Haf Starz! Are good! Make with good song and maybe kompromat, who know? We open the wwith show Don Jr’s admissions interview at Wharton and close with the Baba Yaga’s rendition of Nataliya’s trip home. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqFK3WeLySA&feature=youtu.be)
Episode 117: All We Have to Fear Is the Tweet Itself
This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets body slammed by the truth when he learns that wrestling is still a thing apparently. On the show this week, we tackle the Trump’s Twitter War with the Media and wonder what the hell is wrong with America. (Hint: Both suck.) Along the way we dive into the credibility gap between our Fourth Estate and the American public and wonder how we got here. (Hint: Wolf Blitzer) We also threaten to reveal the identity of that one guy on Twitter who keeps pointing out typos in the show notes. (WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE “TOM”!)
We hit the Wayback Machine for a trip to 1952 and see how a drunken loudmouth used the media to ascend to power and how the media used a drunken loudmouth for ratings. We reveal the truth about the REAL hero of the McCarthy Era and how a Senator slapped him in a Dupont Circle bar. (Honestly, this sort of things happens a LOT in DuPont Circle, at least in Dave’s experience.) We also offer a sincere suggestion to CNN to solve their credibility problems and give America face of truth and integrity. (Hint: He told us about the dangers of Role Playing Games in the 80’s. And it’s NOT Pat Robertson)
Our sponsor this week is Easy Eddie’s Journalism Academy, skip the school and get the scoop! We open the show with the honesty of Stephen Glass and close with Joshua and the Note Ninja’s fabric softening cover of on Henley (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFB2xblO2R)
This week Host Dave Bledsoe asks the doctor to give him news, only find out he has bad case of loving you. (The prognosis is not good.) On the show this week we FINALLY do the health care episode we’ve been trying avoid like a Republican Congressman in his district. Like his constituents, it leaves us even more pissed off than when we started.
Along the way we learn the history of medicine in America, like how many chickens it would cost for a syphilis treatment (three but no promises it works) and the best places to die on the streets of your town. (Near the pizza parlor, trash pickup will cart off your body). We also discover the rather disturbing backstory of Mr. Peabody and Sherman–no really, we are not cool with this, it’s kind of sick. We also talk about LBJ’s dick, which you are required to do each time your bring up LBJ in a historical context, why do you think they wait so late in High School to teach you about VietNam? We explain exactly why your insurance sucks and learn long after their demise exactly what the hell an HMO was supposed to be. (They financed trips to golf clubs for doctors.) We look at who suffers under the Senate Tax Cut Bill masquerading has a health care. (That would be YOU, unless you are rich, then you will do GREAT!) Finally we close with what you can do to help. (Die quickly)
Our sponsor this week is Shitshurance, we cover your shit. We open the show with Chris Rock explaining insurance and close with Len Rozamus (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfYd8TFo1qU) covering Jackson Brown’s ophthalmological opus.
This week Host Dave Bledsoe plaintively asks if he is naught but a pair of ragged claws only to discover he’s mixed up W.B. Yeats and T.S. Elliott. Again. On the show this week we plaintively ask why can’t we all just get along only to discover we’ve NEVER really gotten along, we just stopped pretending to even try.
Along the way we discover that He Man and She Ra were really concerned about pedophiles in the 80’s, and that despite what they told us in school, the United States is not historically a Nation. (Fake History! Sad!) There is a digression into why Tim Allen is so persecuted and deeper digression into furniture styles since the Revolutionary War. (Only one of these is relevant.) Also, there is Springsteen as Prophet and ponder if establishing a religion around The Boss is fiscally sound. Finally, we lean excessively on the hackneyed rhetorical and literary crutch of The Second Coming. (The poem not the sad second masturbation session of a Sunday afternoon.) We warn the listener in advance, this not a “peppy” show with a lot of “happiness” or “hope” within. We also warn the listener that over use of quoted words make you appear a bit prickish. (This does not “stop” us from doing so.)
Our Sponsor this week is Leon’s Sphinx repair, from Giza to the your front stoop, we solve the riddle of keeping your Sphinx clean. We open the show with Dave reading Yeats and close with Geoffrey Schott (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WftyKtMELR4) telling us he feels fine about the end of the world.
This week Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to roll a Saving Throw against the Real World and fails. On the show this week we turn our backs on all the bad news about shootings, Trumpcare and racist government officials and dive deep into a mystery of Lovecraftian proportion: Gary Gygax’s FBI File!
Along the way we learn everything there is to know about the Father of Role Playing Games from his rough origins on the mean streets of Chicago to his youth on the even meaner if more manicured streets of Lake Geneva Wisconsin. (Do NOT mess with the gardeners, they WILL rake you!) Even you if never rolled a 20 sided die in your life, you will be enspelled by the origins of the game and the dark pacts signed by the creators to our Dark Lord Satan. Thrill to the adventures of Gary in the Sun Blasted Land of Hollywood and the Evils of the Masters of Entertainment. Lament the terror of seeing your childhood despoiled into a terrible cartoon with a midget, a goat bleating unicorn and a bunch of ungrateful kids who were IN THE FUCKING GAME and cried about having cool magical powers! (Come ON, that is all we ever WANTED!) Lament the at downfall of the King to the evil sorceress Lorraine. Learn the dark Secrets of Fresno and the Conspiracy of Silence the government doesn’t want you to know! Finally, discover the secret game and why Dave always plays Erica Kaine. (He secretly wants be Susan Lucci.)
Much of the source material for this week comes from the biography of Gary Gygax Empire of Imagination’ by Michael Witwer. If you want to TRUE story and not just the shit we made up, we commend you to it’s pages.
This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands loyalty from the staff in all things, and still can’t get Gavin to refill the damn ice trays when he empties one. On the show this week we celebrate the Feast of Saint Comey commemorating the day he came to the Senate and told them the President is a big fat doo doo head liar. (Religion is SO beautiful!)
Along the way we share a particularly disturbing image of Henry Kissinger in a leather gimp mask, and learn that even a hardened G-Man has one good novel inside! We also remind you that when you Boss “hopes” you can work this weekend, you are canceling your weekend plans. Then we discover that even a shifty little Confederate racist elf can be in bed with the Russians too! (Maybe it’s Elfin magic!) Finally, we see the Liar Liar Pants on Fire Defense come to its final fruition in the Oval Office!
Our sponsor this week is Don Vito’s Intimidation Training, when you gotta get this guy to do what you need him to do, Don Vito’s helps you get them message through. We open with the What the HELL Were You Thinking Players and close with an amazing acoustic cover of Judas Priest by Johnny XE, Muzzzicman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VGTB4rnDcc)
EPISODE #112: “The Legend of the Headless President”
This week Host Dave Bledsoe shows America on the ventriloquist dummy where the bad joke touched him. On the show this week we discuss the hurt feelings and bitter tears shed when Kathy Griffin made Trump cry. (Donald, not Barron.)
Along the way, we draw a parallel to a dead Greek that is shocking even to us. (Who THINKS of this stuff?) We remind the NSA that even if we say the words in the correct order, this does not mean we intend to do thing we said. (When we said we wanted to join ISIS, we were watching Archer!) If we said some slighting things about Chris Clizilla, we apologize, it’s just that you are objectively horrible. If we lingered a little too long on the stock boy at Piggly Wiggly, it’s only because he is too dreamy. If we went overboard with the sex scene late in the show, we apologize for nothing, because sometimes in comedy you need to hurt in order to heal. (Thick ropes, people, THICK ropes!)
Our sponsor this week is Gaetan Guillotines, chopping prices faster than you can chop heads! We open the show this with precious snowflake Tucker Carlson lamenting the failed state of modern comedy and close with Queen’s remonstrance on the importance of placidity.
Stay tuned right after for a new Fulcrum with StePHen Bannon, talking the Paris Accords!
This week Host Dave Bledsoe uncovers the REAL TRUTH about the greatest secret of the last two decades: Matthew Lesko’s book DID NOT contain secrets to free money from the government! On the show this week we dig for the truth about one Alex Emerick Jones being none other than BILL HICKS! (He, is not)
Along the way we examine the kind of filth that drops behind Jones like turds from a goat’s ass, though far less cute. We discuss the progenitors of Alex in radio, from Father Coughlin to Art Bell and how they influenced their audiences. (Nazis and suicide, sadly not the same people) There are tips for storing your Dead Aliens (You want them in liquid nitrogen for maximum freshness) and the United Nations Space Fleet rectal probing morons across America. (Coming soon to a cow pasture near you!) Finally, we reveal the dark secret that threads through all of human history, the REAL conspiracy no one wants to acknowledge. (Rich people own EVERYTHING!)
Our Sponsor this week is The Association, our business is none of your goddamn business. If you think The Association is a returning sponsor, you are under government mind control. We open the show with some of Alex’s better grunts and close with Billy Paul.
This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers that an erection lasting longer than four hours really IS a medical emergency. (He was very excited by the Special Prosecutor) On the show this week we talk all the things that went wrong for the Donald in his very bad, no good Presidency. (We are going to be here for a while.)
Along the way we learn everything there is to know worth knowing about future President of the United States Mike Pence. (Turn ons: Horseback riding Turn Offs: Women speaking without permission.) We chart where we think the country might be heading when Commander Pence is finally appointed to lead the Republic of Gilead and provide advice on how to profit from flipping your house as a Handmaid education center.
We also dig deep into what it takes to actually impeach the President and how many times such a thing has succeeded. (Very hard and none) We imagine the party we would have when Trump is gone (It’s easy if you try) and how horrible the hangover would be feel when we wake up to Right Reverend Pence as a President. (Boner Killer right there)
Our sponsor for the week is Roger Ailes’ Corpse, the best thing he did for America was die We open the show with the whining sniveling of a pathetic child and close with Social Distortion.