Episode #97: The Russian Connection

Show Notes Episode #97:  “The Russian Connection”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe explains to Vice President Pence that his phone calls with the Russian ambassador were late night booty calls and not discussions of foreign policy.  Kissy Kislyak he likes to call him. On the show this week we discuss the ouster of Former National Security Advisor Mike “Call Me Maybe” Flynn and the increasingly likelihood that we will all be speaking Russian in a couple of years.  (Privet Komrade Trumpski!)

Along the way we learn about why you should opt for becoming a Runner when it is time for Carousel.  We discuss whether or not you should talk to your children about Deepthroat and why if you hire a Plumber you should check his references.  (G.Gordon’s Yelp Reviews were TERRIBLE)  We cover all the good and the bad of Independent Counsels (Iran Contra Good/Blow Jobs Bad) and why GOP refuses to investigate the Russian allegations.  (Hint: Love to, but we’re busy taking away your healthcare.) We also gently suggest the Resistance take up finding out why are there so many leaks about Russians and what’s Trump trying to hide. (Hint: Massive collusion to interfere in our elections.)

Promotional consideration this week by Vladimir Putin, Sexy Shirtless Friend of America! We open the show this week with a prescient warning that somehow we all missed in October and close with a sad frog.  No, not that frog, the good one.

Citations Needed:  “What We Know”, “What We Wish to Be So

Show Music:
https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

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Episode 96: “Massah Jeff’s New Job”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 96: “Massah Jeff’s New Job”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe learns he and Steve Bannon really aren’t so different after all, they share a hug and bottle of whiskey!  Maybe that wasn’t Steve Bannon but just some rumpled drunk next to him on the subway.  On the show this week, we talk about Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, the man to racist for 1986 but just racist enough 2017!  (He certainly worked to become so!)  


Along the way we discuss women who just won’t shut up and how to make them.  (Hint stop saying stupid shit so they won’t NEED to say anything!) We learn why Old White Racists always have one Black friend to testify at their confirmation hearings.  (They are LIKE family, but definitely NOT family.)  We also discover how growing up with Star Wars was exactly like growing up White in the Jim Crow South.  (Darth Vader: Nubian God!)  Finally we find out what one should say to a racist.  (Many of the words have four letters).

Promotional consideration for this week’s show comes from Dale Dry Kleaning, keeping your klaverns robes as white as you keep the South!  We open the show with pre-911 Dennis Miller and close with a rolicking ditty from the Wiggles!

Citations Needed: Only his friends call him Jeff, It’s bad, real bad, I mean really, really bad, And it’s going to get worse.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense
The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 95: “Be the Coup You Want to See”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #95: “Be the Coup You Want to See”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe flirts with declaring open insurrection against the lawfully elected government of the United States, only to have a drink thrown in his face.  (He isn’t much of a “ladies man”.)  On the show this week we examine the article on Medium that told us all about the Neunundneunzig Luftballons, floated by Obergruppenführer Bannon and pop each with our mad shuriken throwing skills.  (Girls only like guys who have great skills.)

Along the way we discuss our new spin off podcasts (Think Serial but without the talent, charm or decent stories) explain the difference between Hitler and Trump (Hitler had a dog) and why JFK airport is the 12th Circle of Hell.  We lament our knitting skills and apologize for the penis hat we wore at the protest last weekend.  (It kept going limp and falling in our faces) We also detail exactly how we will eventually repeal this government and replace with a liberal democracy like we had just a few weeks ago!  (Hint:  Pussy Hats)

Our Sponsor this week is Murray’s Mercenaries, when you absolutely, positively have to overthrow them overnight, think Murray’s!  We open the show with Bill Hicks and the Worst. Pun. Ever. and close with a moving tribute to Mary Tyler Moore which sounds more non sequitur than it really is.

Citations Needed: Overthrow Yourself?, Someone back these bitches up!, The people united will never be divided.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense
The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 94: “Truth Is Scarier Than Fiction”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 94:  “Truth Is Scarier Than Fiction”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe explores the fundamental nature of truth in a four hour show spanning Western Philosophy from Socrates to Berto and Plebani!  Only this podcast could make endless hours of obscure metaphysics FUNNY!  RELAX, we are talking about Trump and his truth problem.  (Hint:  When he’s telling it, it’s much worse.)

Along the way we explore all the things El Presidente Trumpo has done this week which scared the shit out of us.  (Everything) We learn that Grizzly Adams fought Nazi Elves in a 1989 movie (Best Day EVER!) and ponder the nature of some of the less popular Star Wars Action Figures. (You SUCK R5-D4!) Finally, we address the critical question of our time, WHO THE FUCK IS STILL LETTING TRUMP TWEET?! (Kellyanne we are looking at YOU!)

Promotional consideration for this week’s show is provided by Alterna-Fact, when the truth just won’t do!  We open the show with pontifications on truth from Sin City and close with Spandau Ballet.

Citations Needed: Sean Spice is LOSER!, We are all going to die, and the War came.

 

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense
The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 93: “No Hope But Mount Hope”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 93: “No Hope But Mount Hope”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries optimism on for size only to discover it way too small to fit over his big fat ass.  Instead of worrying about all the things which might go wrong, we ask the question what if thing turned out alright? We ponder all the ways President Truh-President Truhm–sorry we still can’t say it–might ACTUALLY make America great again.  (Hint: Trump International Airports).

Along the way we look at some other Presidents who brought fear to the nation, like Andy Jackson and that turned out fine.  (Unless you were a Native American) or even George W Bush. (We all know that how THAT ended).  We also examine why Drew Brees is about to be renditioned to Yemen. (You SUCK Brees!) We finally bury the hatchet between Trump and Rosie and let you know that the power to destroy ISIS is insignificant compared to the power of the Force. (We find your lack of faith disturbing, really). We wrap by brazenly ripping off some dramatic political speeches and twisting them around to fit our own perverted narrative!

Our show is sponsored this week by Zed’s Apocalypse Vault. All this time we were telling you the world was about to end?  Well look who’s laughing now! We open the show with a quote from Stephen King’s The Stand, ready by your Host because we are NOT paying forty bucks for the audiobook to rip a single line, and we close with George Michael.  Because you gotta have faith, faith a faith!

Citations Needed: THIS guy is on the Twenty?!, Everything worked out GREAT!, Herbie the Love Bug.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 92: “Trumped Up Trickle Down”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 92: “Trumped Up Trickle Down”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe relieves himself in a thick hot stream of rage at all the “fake news” showering on the upturned faces of the American public about our golden President Elect.  In a show sure to be Number One on all the podcast charts, we discuss the allegations of Russian micturations in what is surely a case of Yellow Journalism.

After spraying around every urine related pun we can think of, we settle into the terrifying details of the Trump Dossier.  Whether or not you should believe them (There is a lot of smoke there) what they mean for a Trump Presidency (The ashes of civilization) and what happens next.  (Not a goddamn thing.)

We also present you with a huge pile of folders containing many sheets of paper on which nothing is written.  Honestly, at least print “all work and no pay makes Donny a dull boy” a few thousand times.  We also discuss Dave’s new career as an NFL quarterback, sponsored by the New England Patriots.

We open the show with Hillary warning us about Donald’s pee predilections and close with a little ditty by Donovan! 

Citations Needed: From Russian with pee, Nothing to see here, I’m sure it’s all lies, Trump knows fake news, Who knew it and when did they know, CNN springs a leak, Very big in Russia, He has nothing to do with Russia, Where DO hiding spies go?

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 91: “Little Milo Writes A Book”

Show Notes Episode 91:  “Little Milo Writes A Book”


This week Host Dave Bledsoe returns from an idyllic vacation to the festering cess pit of New York City and his own mind in a show sure to make everyone want to vomit like an ipecac and bourbon shooter!

We take a tour through the Alt-Right Golden Boy Milo Yiannopoulos’ book deal with Simon and Schuster, whose names sound rather Jewish and we wonder why the Nazi’s seem so happy about it.  (Hint:  Because they are terrible nazis AND terrible people!)  Along the way we learn about how book publishing in America works today and why they might publish a book by known racist and misogynist.  (Hint:  Republicans have money).  We also examine long history of assholes making a lot of money by writing books for other assholes.  We check in on 50 Shades of Grey and find people still masturbating furiously, we’re looking at you Gavin.  We discuss free speech and why it is probably a bad idea (mostly because of shows like this) and speculate on the real reason Milo got kicked off Twitter.


The show is sponsored this week by the Original Gay Nazi.  We open with Carlin’s Gameshow and close with Elvis Costello.

 

Citations Needed: Milo’s thoughts on race relations.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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Episode 90: “What’s So Civil About War Anyway?”

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 90 “What’s So Civil About War Anyway?”


This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes us all back to school as the nation’s electors give it the old college try and finally end this god awful election once and for all. Get ready for another pointless history lesson, and some really mediocre Disney musicals featuring Buddy Ebsen!

Along the way we learn about Richard Mentor Johnson and the Octoroon Julia Chinn.  We theorize on the potential ramifications of an Electoral College upset at the last moment.  (Hint:  Think Disastrous) There are some cutting remarks about the hit Broadway play Hamilton AND the actual Alexander Hamilton.  (Buy One Get One Free!).

We postulate on what the Second American Civil War might look like, comparing and contrast to other popular Civil Wars in recent history.  There WILL be a quiz on the material at the end of the podcast which will count for 30% of your grade.  We suggest taking notes.

Then we wrap with really depressing analogies to fatal diseases and the agony of chemotherapy.  (You can assume this is not a “happy” show).  But then we bring it all back with the War on Saturnalia!

Promotional consideration for this week’s show by Tom’s Town Criers, keeping a pointless institution alive far past the point it outlived usefulness!  We open the show with George Carlin and close with, you guessed it, Guns and Roses.

Citations Need: Not the Mentor we needed, but the Mentor we deserved, 97% Percent Crazy, The inspiration for every Cranberries song ever written, Flirting with Disaster.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

 

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Episode 89: You Can’t Fix Stupid

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 89: “YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID”

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This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes on Big Dictionary in his never ending quest to have Bloosnargl accepted as an actual word.  (Bloosnargl (n): The overwhelming feeling of relief and joy after taking a really big dump.  –Dave exited the men’s room with a spring in his step and feeling all bloosnargl.)  He also takes issue with the idea of “Post Truth” being Oxford’s word of the year, since it’s a bullshit term and the idea is ripped off from Colbert.

Along the way we learn about the history of fake news in America, and how it gave us the truth about Jefferson going black and not coming back.  We also get a Latin lesson no one asked for and learn the the truth about Bat Boy. (Hint:  Think Elvis).  There is a stunning revelation about Dave regarding the duration of his belief in Santa Claus.  (Awkward!)  Conspiracies are debunked, feelings are hurt and apologies are not given.  Except to Santa who finally did show up with that Millennium Falcon we’d been asking for.

Promotional consideration this week provided by Gut Check, who wants you to know there is nothing you can’t do if you don’t accept the truth!  We open the show with Rust Cohle and close with Frank Zappa.

Citations Need: Check your Callender Jefferson!, a MUCH better podcast, Alcuin of York was a Yasss Queen.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode 88: “Something For the Ladies”

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #88:  “SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe steps into the uncomfortable shoes of women in Trumpmerica and finds that even though they are painful and sexist, these 4” Stiletto heels make his legs look amazing.  On a slightly less disturbing topic, the show dives into the ideas the incoming administration might have for making America great again for women.  (Hint: They are only great for dudes.)   

We discuss abortion rights (Gone) contraception (Yeah Right) sexual harassment (All lies) and rape culture (made up) and how they will be handled.  We meet the men who will be helping all you ladies understand the complexities of your own bodies and minds, including a new spokesman (none of that spokesperson business here!) that will reach out to the youth of America!  Along the way we meet the new Twitter Czar, a position that we made up but will almost certainly exist shortly!  Finally, we discuss Ivanka’s plan to help the visually unappealing reach full employment!

Promotional consideration for this week’s show is provided by Mansplainer, explaining that you really don’t know the thing you clearly think you know!  We open the show with George Carlin’s simple explanation of the GOP’s plan for women and close the show with Liz Phair.  

Citations Needed: There’s gotta be some kind of punishment, Names you may know.

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.
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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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