Episode 69: “Escape From America”

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This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers that friendship IS actually magic as he dissects the week at the Republican National Convention, we love you Twilight Sparkle!  Along the way we learn about why Rudy Giuliani is so angry (hint:because he’s an asshole) and we give Intern Chrissy Christie our lunch order (WE SAID NO DAMN CHEESE!)  We also wonder how in the hell we say something nice about Ted Cruz, we feel so dirty.  So very dirty.  

We also go into great detail about what the hell is going on in Trump’s America, because we are taking a look around and it does NOT resemble a John Carpenter movie where we live, and we live in “scary” part of Manhattan.  (It’s not).  You can call us Snake or you can call us Plissken, just don’t call us and say our check bounced again because we made sure the money was there!

We open the show this week with monologue from Escape From New York (duh!) and close with Mike and Mechanics “Silent Running” (No, even we don’t know what this song is about).  Promotional consideration provided by Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V Speechwriters, the official speechwriters of Melania Trump!

Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits.

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Show Notes Episode 57: Going to the End of the Line

Show Notes Episode 57: Going to the End of the Line

Desperation

This week, host Dave Bledsoe examines the words of the prophets written on the men’s room stall and comes to conclusion that some bathroom laws ARE needed–this place is disgusting!  The subject of the SHOW this week is the looming end of the Republican Primary and how the candidates are reacting to the unpleasant reality of Trump’s inevitable victory. Along the way we look at the storybook career of Carly Fiorina, if the stories were written by the Brother’s Grimm.  We get our Vaudeville on for some reason and we talk about the Donald’s new campaign man’s ties to criminals, and not the just ones in the Reagan and Bush Administrations.  Shout out to John Boehner who we kinda didn’t like in Congress but is really growing on us in private life!  Our opener this week is from the movie Election, which is looking more and prescient every day and we close the show with the Travelling Wilburys.  Promotional consideration for this week’s episode comes from Desperation, a scent for Republicans.  

Links to Content:

Donald Trump Will Be the Republican Nominee for President. Don’t Ever Get Used to It.

John Boehner Compares Ted Cruz to Satan, Says He Wouldn’t Vote for Him in November

Our show music by Hypnostate

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Episode 47: I’m Afraid of Americans

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Let me put this way, and I preface this for Republicans, because you guys are the WORST.  You need a new sales clerk at Elroy’s Gun Hut and Bait Shack.  You have two candidate, one guy Billy who worked a Lenny Shoot Shack and Fish Hut in Hooter Holler, he can run the register, won’t steal the meal worms and will show up to work on time.  Then you have Cooter Ray Sterling, Cooter is a lifelong member of the NRA, a Bass Pro Shop catalog subscriber and has voted for the most hard core evangelical candidate for dog catcher past 12 elections.  He can spend HOURS talking about gun rights but can’t actually tell the difference between a Mauser and a Ruger, and the last time he went fishing it came with hush puppies at captain ds!  He tells you he can’t work weekends because he runs a workshop for young Republicans and fundraises for Kill an Abortionist for Christ, but weekends are when you NEED the guy for—what is worse he is actively trying to get a job at the House of Glocks in Benton Crotch where he can network with the county big wigs—which one of these fuckers are you going to hire?  Billy right?  SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SENDING COOTER TO CONGRESS?

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Episode 22: “My Baby Is American Made”

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What, you might ask, is birthright citizenship?  Well, you probably aren’t asking because my listeners are all intelligent, educated people who took a basic high school civics class before they started eliminating them because an educated citizen is a DANGEROUS citizen.  But, as a refresher there are three ways one is a citizen of the United States, you can naturalize meaning you come here and go through the process of becoming a citizen, which largely consists of taking a high school civics class and passing the final.  The second is to be born of citizen parents abroad which explains how Rafael Cruz is able to run for President after being born in Canada.  The third and most common way is be BORN here, right in the good ole us of a.  This one, the way most of us get citizened is a problem for T-Rump and a lot of other Republicans, because there is a loophole that allows pretty much anyone who exits a uterus to just get their constitutional rights the second they draw a breath.

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